Hey, guys welcome back to my blog, I know I took a long-ass break but I am glad and grateful you are still here with me reading and going through this journey with me.
During this period, I worked on so many things and made great changes which have caused a huge growth, and I will be sharing them with you.
One of the things I worked on was getting rid of self-sabotaging thoughts; telling myself I am not good enough or qualified or simply, feeling like I am not enough.
In many situations, I felt like I wasn’t good enough or even worthy to be called a developer or a programmer so I always play around my job titles LOL and I struggled with this for a while, and for as long as I can remember, self-sabotage has been my way of stopping me from engaging in things that scare me, while counting on people to tell me no Cindy you are good enough– I got comfortable with this.
Honestly, I feel self-sabotage is one of the greatest self-harm ever. When it comes to this the little things matter when we say things like “oh I am so stupid”, “I don’t think”, “how can I be this dumb”, we listen.
Be careful what you say to yourself for you are always listening.
Sometimes growing up in a toxic environment plays a huge part in this, instances where the things you do for people, especially the ones you love is not enough, when they make you feel like you are not worthy or you are dumb, or foolish all the time, one day you start to believe it and that’s not okay.
“Oh since my mum/dad/siblings/friends/partners think I am worthless maybe I really am”, thoughts like this keep coming back to you, basically making you feel like you are not enough, and sadly, you might grow up always overcompensating and seeking outside validation and also feeling like whatever you do is not enough.
But it’s okay you are still here and it’s not too late to start to treat yourself better.
Don’t let the negative opinion of others define or shape who you are.
Yup.
You define who you are.
When you self-sabotage you never come close to figuring how amazing and really great you can be, it sets you back and I promise you you’ll find comfort but you’ll never feel like you are enough, self-sabotaging might become what you use to pass up opportunities because you are scared and don’t believe you can get shit done, but you’ll never truly know until you step out of your comfort zone and try.
You have to set yourself free
So, if you are trying to work on this, I strongly believe that recognizing these patterns of behavior and then finding the root cause is the first step to making that great change in your life.
Your awareness, the moment you become present and recognize these types of thoughts as what they really are, is the beginning of your freedom.
Getting rid of these thoughts is going to take regular practice and you falling in love with yourself all over again, it’s easy to love someone else but for this, you’ll be needing courage, patience and a lot of kindness. You’ll need to look deep within you, dig deep and forgive.
This is one of the greatest changes I have made and I am so excited I worked on this, now I am not scared to take a new programming job/gig and I always see it as an opportunity to learn more.
We might not be experts or geniuses in whatever we do but the moment you say and believe you can do it plus you are putting in work, you will.
I did two other things and they helped a lot, using counterthoughts and Journaling. Counterthoughts- each time those self-sabotaging thoughts came back I made sure I had nice and very kind things to say to myself like: You are amazing Cindy, It is okay, try again, YOU ARE ENOUGH, you are beautiful, I see you. And I don’t forget to celebrate my winnings, “you did a great job girl”, “wow!! I am so proud of you” they might not be much but they sure do go a long way.
Journaling- it helped me so much, and I do this more often now than I used to, it took me a while to get over that fear and open up to myself in my journals, I did it, and it has been amazing so far.
How long have you been self-sabotaging?
What do you do when these kinds of thoughts come to your mind?
Now, these worked for me, it might be easier or harder for you but I want you to know it’s okay, you need to find your answers and what works for you. Be patient and be kind to yourself, self-love is accepting you and it takes courage.
Always remember, You are enough.
Thank you for reading, please feel free to comment and share.
JustSharing
Cindy.
Featured Image:
Unsplash photo by Daniel Mtombosola
