I should have left

I should have left

When you asked me to leave me behind and shrink just for you

I was told I deserved better

But it’s you, I had given myself to you

I should have left when you left

When your actions showed different from your words, when I didn’t recognize you anymore; those eyes that burned with hate and disgust—words that pierced like a sharp heated knife laced with poisoned thoughts

You left

I dropped to my knees begging you to stay with me

I cried and cried, I got drunk and I cried, but I should have left

I still found a way back to you

Holding onto those moments of selfish happiness

Seeking the arms that didn’t want me, to hold me just one more time

I should have left, but I did leave, once, twice, the third time, the forth and may more

Then you came back asking for something you knew I wanted to give you

My leaving legs got weak

He is back, I thought

But there you go again making me feel less

But then, I’ll give anything to make you stay

Eventually, those moments of happiness always turned to sleepless nights in tears

Why am I never the first to leave?

Do I have this love thing all twisted in my head?

I left

I set fire to everything and watched it burn

Featured Image:

Unsplash photo by eberhard grossgasteiger