Being a woman

Being a woman.
What does that mean?
What does being a woman mean to me?

I am a 23-year-old who is just finding her identity and discovering who she really is. In spite of always fighting for my choices to be heard and respected, I lived by the rules of what an ideal woman should be, heck I bought a how to be a lady book—I rule this under how women are made to feel like they are not enough, and so they always strive to be perfect.
So, what does it mean to be a woman?
There has been a lot tied to what it means to be a woman asides from the biological aspects of being born with a vagina, or the ability to ovulate and menstruate and even bear a child, many have matched it with the ability to cook, take care of a home and raise kids. You hear statements beginning with words like a woman should or as a woman you should be able to do this or know that.

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Some have degraded being a woman to a mistake; a failed version of a man.
And to some, a woman is expected to be submissive and subservient, needs to be led by a man, toned-down (usually told to women to be quiet or less heard), soft-spoken, accompanied with being a perfect cook, a hero mom and home builder who’s sole duty is to care for the family—they call her the traditional woman.

By the way, what happened to her?

Society has given a different meaning to what it means to be a woman, weak, too sensitive, emotional, needy, these and some of the things mentioned above. But some of all these traits or stereotypes, I feel are want makes us human.

If only men were told it is okay to cry and be emotional.

I always gave and never expected things back, was told to always put other people first because that’s what a good caring woman would do LOL. Being guilt-tripped into not wanting more because if you do then you are not a wife material or you are too wise for a man to control you, or even “holding down” to earn the trust of someone you don’t fully trust just to appear as the faithful, loyal woman that held down.

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But, I am gladdened by the fact these rules, these standards are being torn apart, redefined, and lived by women of this generation. These conversations have been going on for generations and with the help of technology and social media, women across the world get to take part in these conversations. You come across statements like: I was a feminist before I knew what that meant. With these advancements you get to share and hear people’s experience with sexism and other events that are derogatory and dehumanizing to women, people get to organize a match; a walk against sexual harassment (so proud), raise awareness, and funding for pads for girls who can’t really afford it.

This is progress.

Finally, what does being a woman mean to me? I know you may be expecting a straight answer but, I am still figuring it out.

We are still figuring it out and gradually we keep unfolding and ridding ourselves from the unacceptable norms created by society, religion, culture/tradition and now rebuilding a stronger world, with equality, freedom of choice and acceptability of change.

Maybe we might go with the biological aspect of having a vagina and breasts. But I don’t believe being a woman should be limited to certain standards or behaviors or that there should be a guideline made by people about how a certain gender or group of people should live.

So, I’ll leave you with this, I believe that being a woman means I don’t have to be perfect, I shouldn’t have to be subservient or submissive, I should not tone down to make certain people comfortable with what makes me uncomfortable, I should not accept injustice towards me, my body, my heart, and my soul, that I don’t have to live my life based on timelines, I don’t have to be married, I don’t have to have kids, I should not be humble to bullies, I don’t have to wait for someone to save me or take care of me, I don’t have to give up everything to be accepted, I don’t have to choose between my job and being a mom, I shouldn’t limit my goals and my dreams and most of all I should not try to be who I am not.

So what does being a woman mean to you?

We have the opportunity to bring a great change, to raise strong girls and women comfortable in their own skin and okay not being perfect. To raise and educate young men as well to love and respect the women and the choices of the people in or not in their lives.

Love heals spread love and kindness.

Just Sharing.

Seasons greetings everyone, this is my favorite holiday it is so merry LOL.

I hope you are enjoying this season, don’t forget to think positive thoughts, fill your hearts with joy and happiness and all the things you want will come to you.

Take care

Cindy.

Featured Image:

Unsplash photo by Ian Kiragu

The gifs are from giphy.com if you were wondering. check them out you’ll find something you like.