What will people say?
The first time I said those words, I was begging an ex not to leave, and each time I remember the whole scenario with me at the foot of my ex, I feel so embarrassed, because I realized what I really cared about. I cared about what people thought without considering my own feelings. What people had to say about me and how people saw me, really affected my decisions and caused me to live a certain way.
Listening to all the stereotypes and comparisons of how girls were defined or grouped: good, bad, unserious, promiscuous etc. I didn’t want to be seen that way, so I would always stay in the “approval light”.
I used to think about it, although it doesn’t bother me anymore, there is still a bit of sadness. But, removing myself from that headspace has been liberating. I feel so happy now because I am free—I stopped letting outside thoughts define me or control how I live my life.
Don’t forget people always talk.
“What will people say? That I can’t keep a boyfriend? “
Now, I’m mortified, thinking of that breakup event, I had a persisting thought in my head, about why I stayed in some relationships and if I really stayed back in those relationships, knowing I was supposed to leave, but just because of what people will say—I stayed.
Honestly, I had to work on myself, I still am because this way of thinking didn’t start today, I remember while growing up, I was always scolded with “do you want people to say you are wayward, badly behaved, call you a prostitute or even useless ?” (plus you know a woman’s reputation is really important for her to land a husband LOL)
That’s why I feel it’s important to always say the right things to your kids, they grow with it.
And so, I grew up having that in mind, overdoing things, trying to impress and keep irrelevant relationships with people. (It’s important, you don’t let opinions define you and turn you into a person you are not) It feels great for someone to have a good impression about you, but I feel it should be on actually getting to know the real you and have a connection with you.
What will people say if I decided to lift weights, cut my hair, pierce my nose or finally get the tattoo I have always wanted?
Well, I lift weights, I did cut my hair and I do have a tattoo, if you don’t like it, just know I’m not sorry, it’s all about me, not you.
Before thinking about what people will say, check in with yourself first.
Not everyone will like the person you are, but that’s okay for me.
Stop caring about unimportant thoughts and opinions and live your life to the fullest.
Justsharingaliffe
Cindy.
Featured Image:
Unsplash photo by Jason Leung
