Not Good Enough?

Not good enough?

Scared of being alone?

I suddenly felt like I was not cool enough or fun to be with, so I tried to be more fun over doing the things I used to do and comparing myself to other people.

This ended badly for me though, I didn’t realize I had a problem then.

Firstly, I was not in the right mood to be fun, I had a lot going on, I was sad and depressed, and just because I didn’t want to drive away the surrounding people, I wanted to change so they don’t get bored and leave. That was a big mistake, I know that now, sitting here writing this I only just want to be left alone, and to think that I wanted to be someone else is very sad.

Well, I think it’s really important to know or accept what we need and what we do not need, for example, we need time alone, time to cry, time to heal and to think.

We do not need to be scared of someone leaving and because of that, do things we are not really comfortable with, failing to take into consideration how you feel inside.

Am I not funny enough? pretty enough, or even nice enough I can put this in so many ways, I hope I never get to feel like that again. If ever you find yourself in a situation like this, caused by anything or anyone I suggest you run for your life, run out through the window if there are no doors, LOL just kidding.

I realize I don’t need anything or anyone who makes me want to change who I really am.

Lastly, one thing I forgot was that I already had people who understood my always panicking, sometimes very mean, sometimes bitter, sometimes frustrated and usually angry side, but I also got new friends that understood too.

And yeah I knew I needed to work on myself to be better, happier and not a failed version of someone else.

Just sharing.