Breaking My Own Heart

When you search on YouTube to find videos of how to get over a heartbreak. You’ll mostly find videos about being dumped or about being walked out on.

But what if you are the one walking out with so much love in your heart? Mainly because you know it’s time for you to leave. What do you do with it?

What do you do with everything you feel?

I will call mine the heart break from letting go. I mean, it is important to let go.

But I am breaking my own heart.

Right now, I am a mix of tears, anxiety, calm and laughter. This is the hardest thing I have ever done. And I am hurting so much.

Who said letting go of something or someone isn’t going to hurt.

I don’t wish to rush it, but I wish it didn’t have to hurt.

I remember last year when I bawled my eyes out because my job was making me miserable. I had to let go of some clients.

All this energy…

I am recalling it back to myself.

The thing is, I take care of everyone, I love that side of me, I always try to be there for everyone.

But now, I’ll need to put all my energy on myself.

I’ll say I am in sync with the weather, it’s been raining all night and day. In intervals like my tears.

Hmm, I have started my own kind of therapy. Walking, dancing, writing, doing all the things I enjoy, because all this energy has to go somewhere.

I hope they understand.

Love is the most beautiful energy on earth.

And when you feel it from your insides, you’ll walk away too.

The second hardest part is no distraction from social media. I really don’t want to take in anyone’s energy. 

I want to breathe through it, feel it and love me.

There is no right or wrong choice here because, if I am being honest, I don’t know, and I don’t have any expectations.

But I’ll be fine, and I’ll take care of me.

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Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

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